(Written in) Teenage Blood (test)

This mornings rant comes to you written in blood.

The 15yr old was due to have a blood test this morning, before a dermatologist appointment. He forgot. I forgot.

He remembered when he (finally) got up, so I said we could still go if he would get a move on.

He proceeded to sit down at the kitchen table, with a bowl, spoon, milk and weetbix, until I reminded him it was a fasting blood test.

He showered.

We left the house, and drove to the blood collection place. I turned the engine off, then turned to him (already knowing the answer, and sighing internally) and asked - "Did you bring the blood test paperwork?"

As expected, the response became defensive, and the insinuation was that I had the paperwork, he 'always' gives me the paperwork when we leave the dermatologists!

I decided to give it a shot, went in and asked whether, given it was a regular visit, would they be able to do the test if they could see what he normally has? Receptionist said that they could just look him up in the system, so I went and got him out of the car. We went in, she took his name.

We waited, not long, as for once, there was no huge queue. After maybe 5 minutes, she called us through, started taking his details, misheard and misspelled everything she possibly could, and then asked me for his card. 

What card?

Oh, I thought you meant you had a card because he gets the same test all the time.

Nope. You never mentioned a card.

So, back into the car, drive home. I suggest that while he goes into the house and collects the paperwork, I will go across to the bakery and get him something he can eat afterwards, so we don't have to do that later. 

I get him something to eat, but when I return, there is still no sign of him and the front door of the house is lying open. I go in, and he's been unable to locate the paperwork - in fact, he is still insistent that he 'gave it all to me' , as that's what he 'always' does when we leave the appointments.

Confident in my abilities to put things where they are supposed to go, I check all of those places it might be. Nothing. I then ask him if he's checked his room, and he assures me he has.

I go in and look anyway, opening drawers, checking shelves etc, and guess what! 

I find the paperwork, still in the bag that he was given in the last appointment, shoved underneath piles of other stuff, on top of his chest of drawers...

So we lock up again and leave the house, get in the car and start driving back to the blood collection building. 

About halfway there, he turns to me, mouth full of croissant, and says "oh 💩, I'm eating..."

I start to take very long, deep breaths on the remainder of the drive TO SCHOOL, and we agree we will go tomorrow morning, much earlier. I drop him at school, and wait for the text from the school, so I can reply and say we had a medical appointment this morning ( they don't need to know we didn't actually make it) and that's why he was late.

🙄😫

On a final note, we need to campaign for a new emoji - one that looks like Homer Simpson with his hands around Bart's neck, saying "why I oughtta....."

Said child is now in my debt for at least a day or two, which I shall be reminding him of as often as I can think of things I'd like him to do to make up for the amount of teeth-clenching I've done this morning.